RULER School-Home Connection

Across District 30, we are building our students' and staff members' capacity for emotional intelligence by using RULER, an evidence-based approach to social-emotional learning. As outlined in the previous edition of this newsletter, this year we want to share what we've learned to support our families at home. Check out this spot in your newsletter for monthly RULER themes and tips for applying these ideas at home.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING:

The RULER Acronym

• Recognizing emotions in oneself and others through facial expressions, body language, voice, behavior

• Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions in oneself and others

• Labeling emotions with accurate words from a nuanced vocabulary

• Expressing emotions differently depending on context, situational expectations, and culture

• Regulating emotions with effective strategies and supporting others in their regulation of emotions

In your next school newsletter, watch for our first tip of how you might discuss this at home! Also, join us at Curriculum Night Aug. 28 to learn more about this program.

This month, we are building community in class by recognizing that all emotions matter by creating a Charter that reflects how we want to feel in our classrooms. Maple created its own unique Charter, which cultivates a sense of safety and camaraderie within our schools.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING:

• Emotions influence our ability to make decisions, learn new things, be healthy, and have rewarding relationships with friends and family.

• Students and teachers work together to uplift student voices and create Charters.

• Students engage in conversations through ‘Community Circles’ and advisory discussions to build relationships and promote understanding and perspective-taking.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT:

• Develop a Family Charter! Ask children about how they want your home to feel. Narrow down to 3-5 keywords that everyone agrees to and make it visible in your home somewhere. See the Family Charter Handout for a step-by-step process.

• Ask about your child’s School or Classroom Charters: Which feeling words are most important?

To help our students develop self and social awareness, the RULER program recognizes emotions and uses the Mood Meter to plot how we feel. The Mood Meter is used as needed to check in on how students are feeling. Developing self and social awareness is important because it helps us understand our feelings, get along better with others, and make good choices.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• How to recognize our feelings through the changes in our bodies.

• How our feelings affect our actions and our thoughts.

• How to use the Mood Meter as a tool to develop self and social awareness.

WHAT YOU MIGHT DO AT HOME

• Complete a Take Home Mood Meter and track your emotions for an entire week.

• Check out the free app (iPhone & Android), How We Feel, created by the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

• Ask your child about the Mood Meter: What is a Mood Meter and how does it help? When can you use a Mood Meter?

This month, we are focusing on the yellow quadrant of The Mood Meter, which is home to emotions that feel pleasant and have lots of energy, like lively and brave. Being in the yellow quadrant is beneficial in situations where having a lot of energy is helpful. Now is a great time to start a project, be physically active, or get things done. Want to move out of the yellow? Try taking a walk, listening to music, or taking deep breaths.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• How to recognize, express, and regulate high energy and emotions that feel unpleasant.

• How yellow feeling words can impact us in different environments.

• How to correctly label the emotions we are feeling.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Reinforce the idea that being in different quadrants on The Mood Meter is normal.

• Have each family member share a time when they were in the yellow quadrant.

• Ask your child: How do you know when you have a yellow feeling? What are the clues? Can you think of a time when you noticed a friend in the yellow quadrant? How did you know?

Revising the charter at school, home

A charter is a working document that is never set in stone. This month as part of our RULER School-Home Connection, we are revisiting our charters to evaluate and revise our ever-changing needs.

We will also be looking at our charters through a lens of empathy to ensure students feel a sense of belonging in our classrooms and brainstorm ways for how we can help everyone in our community feel safe, regardless of differences.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• We can reflect on our charter through an empathetic lens by asking questions:

  • Does our charter include trying to understand others’ feelings and perspectives?

  • Does our charter include being kind to one another with words and actions so all people feel good and a sense of belonging?

• Ways that we can show empathy towards one another through our actions and words.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Ask your child if their classroom made any changes to their Charter.

• Brainstorm ways your family can use empathy at home and in the community.

• Evaluate and revise your Family Charter.

Strategies for Red Feelings

As we explore the ways all emotions matter, this month, we are focusing on the red quadrant of the mood meter. This quadrant is home to emotions that feel unpleasant and have high energy in our bodies, including feelings like ‘shocked’ and ‘anxious.’

We are reminded that there are no bad emotions and learn about how to regulate these feelings. We also develop an understanding that even unpleasant emotions, though they may feel uncomfortable, can serve us in certain situations. Being in the red quadrant is beneficial in situations where we need to rise to a challenge, passionately defend an idea, or keep ourselves safe from danger.

Want to move out of the red? Try taking a walk, listening to music, or taking deep breaths.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• How to recognize, express, and regulate high energy and emotions that feel unpleasant.

• How red feeling words can impact us in a learning environment.

• How to correctly label the emotions we are feeling.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Reinforce the idea that it is normal to be in different quadrants of the mood meter.

• Remind each other that strategies exist if you would like to move to a different area of the mood meter. Some strategies might include listening to music, talking with a friend, having a snack, and/or positively reframing a situation.

• Name when you notice red feelings in shows you watch or books you read this week.

• Ask your child: How do you know when you have a red feeling? What are the clues? Can you think of a time when you noticed a friend in the red quadrant? How did you know?

Best Self and the Meta Moment

This month in our RULER program, we are learning about emotional regulation and personal values through the best self and meta-moment.

• Our best self is our personal ideal and desired reputation.
• The meta-moment is a tool to pause during emotional situations and adjust to respond as one’s best self.

For example, during difficult morning routines, we might pause to recognize the feeling of frustration and consider how our best self would respond. The meta-moment aims to shift from automatic, unhelpful reactions to strategic, helpful responses.

NEXT WEEK - Learn the four steps of the meta-moment that your students are learning, plus strategies to try at home!

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• The meta-moment consists of four steps:

1. Sense: Notice a change in your body or mind.

2. Pause: Wait to respond. Breathe to think more clearly.

3. See your Best Self: Imagine your best self in the situation.

4. Strategize and Act: Think of a strategy and try it out.

• Strategies we can use include walking away, finding an adult, considering the other person's perspective, using positive self-talk, and reframing a situation.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Ask your child to explain what the meta-moment is.

• Discuss with your child a time when they felt an intense emotion. What change did they notice in their body or mind? Did they pause, regulate, and imagine their best self? What strategy did they use?

NAVIGATING BLUE EMOTIONS

This month, we are focusing on the blue quadrant of the Mood Meter. It is home to emotions that feel unpleasant and have low energy, like ‘worried’ and ‘discouraged.’ We might find ourselves in the blue quadrant when your pet is unwell, if you lost a treasured item, or when your plans get canceled. However, it is not always bad to be in the blue quadrant. Situations that bring us to the blue quadrant are an opportunity to build empathy for others. It might be a good time to be an empathetic listener, problem-solve, and use flexible thinking. Want to move out of the blue? Try doing something that brings you joy.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• How to recognize, express, and regulate emotions that have low energy and feel unpleasant.

• How blue feeling words can impact us in a learning environment.

• It is not always bad to be in the blue quadrant. This is actually where we build empathy!

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Reinforce the idea that it is okay to be on different quadrants in the mood meter. Experiencing a wide range of emotions is part of the human experience and being smart about our emotions is part of being emotionally intelligent.

• Remind each other that strategies exist if you would like to move to a different area of the mood meter. Some strategies might include listening to music, talking with a friend, having a snack, and/or positively reframing a situation.

• Share an experience from your own life when you were in the blue quadrant. Describe how you knew and the strategies you used to move to another quadrant.

• Ask your child: How do you know when you have a blue feeling? What are the clues? Can you think of a time when you noticed a friend in the blue quadrant? How did you know?

We are learning how to approach, process, and resolve conflicts using a variety of strategies. The Blueprint is one tool we can use when a conflict needs a facilitated conversation. It is a set of questions used to learn from and resolve conflict with empathy. At home, this might look like a parent facilitating a Blueprint conversation between two siblings who are having a disagreement. Using this strategy could allow both children to feel heard and offer each child the opportunity to consider the other person’s perspective. A Blueprint can help restore relationships and communities.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• How conflict involves more than one perspective.

• How a Blueprint conference can help solve conflicts using empathy and perspective-taking.

• How strategically resolving conflicts can improve our relationships.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Review the Steps to Facilitate a Blueprint Conference

• Follow Blueprint Conference Questions to help resolve conflict. This can be useful between family members or friends.

• Ask your child: How do you resolve issues when you don’t agree? How might the other person feel when _____?

This month, we are focusing on the green quadrant of our Mood Meter, which is home to emotions that feel pleasant and have low energy in our bodies. Green feeling words include emotions like ‘peaceful’ and ‘secure.’ Being in the green quadrant is a good place to be for concentration, working with others, or taking time for self-reflection. In need of more energy? Try listening to upbeat music, exercising, or dreaming about future goals and possibilities.

AT SCHOOL WE ARE LEARNING

• How to recognize, express, and regulate low-energy and pleasant feeling emotions.

• How green feeling words can impact us in a learning environment.

• How to correctly label the emotions we are feeling.

AT HOME YOU MIGHT

• Reinforce the idea that it is normal to be on different quadrants in the Mood Meter.

• Practice labeling when you have a feeling in the green quadrant. Keep track of your emotions on your Take Home Mood Meter or the How We Feel app.

• Ask your child: How do you know when you have a green feeling? What are the benefits of those feelings? What quadrants feel best for the school day?

BONUS: Explore one last resource to help you build stronger relationships as a family during summer.